Music

Preamble:

This is the story of Eamonn, the lord of the dominion of hatred.

During his reign all humans are condemned.

And exonerated, all animals.

His story is a desperate one, often horrific. Too dark for straight telling, however it needs to be shared. I have realised that when it is applied to a popular music song structure it becomes softer and, if you can extract the pain and loss, it is almost understandable.

I attempt to keep it short, a synopsis of the dialogue from a deposition he provided on the 11th February, 1983 at the Royal Ulster Constabulary (RUC) headquarters at Grosvenor Road, Belfast, the bleeding heart of the troubles. I have edited it slightly and of course formatted it to fit the pop music shape.

Intro

Age?

27

Occupation?

Haha

Why do you laugh?

You fucking know why I am laughing

Why are you here?

You fucking know why I am here

Think you’ll ever leave?

Is this being recorded?

On and off, Eamonn, depends what we want to be heard

Fuck you

…

(Lifting Eamonn off the floor) Lets start again.

Why are you here?

How far back do you want me to go?

Allllll the way back Eamonn, we want to know everything.

Verse 01

My ma died when I was about 10. She never touched me, least not as I remember. She left without even saying goodbye.

It was her mam, my disgusting fucking granny who gave me the letter, cold stiff icy old fingers. Letter tells me I was a bastard son of a English army man. ´Non-consensual impregnation´ she called it, my splendid conception.

We, being catholics, in a small community, don't really approve of abortion.

At least Wendy, my ma, didn´t. Soooo. I was born. And I was hated,

And I hated in return

Pre-Chorus

You ever been hated, mate? Like really hated?

Imagine that. Imagine it all of the time, every waking and sleeping second

No, not by strangers, or stupid kids, but by your own flesh and blood, the ones you look to for simple love and warmth.

Hah, no! See? Thought so.

Chorus

The hatred, well it took hold of me see? And it became my secret, the less I spoke of it the more I owned it, more I controlled it.

Verse 02

So, I grew up with that hate inside me. Imagine an anodyne, bland living room. Mother in the kitchen, cursing and spitting. Me, sat in the lounge waiting for me dinner. I´m nervous, worried like, Kid, young, I spill a glass of water. Mam comes in with the belt, exaggeration? I wish. So I took the pain out of me by sharing it around the place. I wanted everyone to suffer, just like me, but more, way more. And that was how I felt better mate. Do you see? Though I didn’t like the crying or the begging so what did I do?

I listened to music.

Pre-Chorus

Are you seeing what hate can do? Mate? Are you? It enters like a pregnant maggot, into your belly, And it makes its home there, and it gets all warm. And it thinks, I´m gonna stay here, and I’m gonna create a whole generation.

Chorus

And so I did what the hate told me. While it hid inside me, I expressed it on the outside, and I raised hell. Thanks mother.

Verse 03

I did well at my schooling, much to everyone's surprise. But I didn't want for that, I just wanted to hate. So I got picked up by the Ra (editor note. IRA) And I became their special pet. Same lighting, same noise, same smell, same fear. Could’ve been planting a bullet in a bag of flour. I didn't give a shit if they were catholic, protestant, white, black, gay, straight. All the same. Fucking humans fucking hate. On your knees.

And I listened to my music.

Pre-Chorus

But my hate was bigger, I wanted it to burn. Belfast was too small, I needed more impact. I finished my school and I left the island for the UK, the mainland. I went to London to study terrorism. Or politics as they call it.

Chorus

It's like I said. I did what the hate told me. While it hid inside me. I expressed it on the outside. And I raised hell. Thanks to my dear mother..

Verse 04

I was diligent and I worked hard.. I didn't want and didn't have friends. Focus and studies, good boy Eamonn. Studies and work. Needed cash, I heard the humans made the animals suffer at the abattoirs, so I took my skills there, i helped the animals die with dignity, at least quickly, but I made the humans suffer. Fucking humans fucking hate. On your knees.

And I listened to my music.

But still it wasn't enough.

Pre-Chorus

My hate had become a cathedral,I wanted all to burn

London was too parochial, I needed more impact, I finished university and I left with a degree in politics. And started looking at my options, Jesus, I had ambition.

Chorus

Sitting at night at the bus stop, the miserable London rain cascading and cold. My eyes catch the sight of the paper. Headlines says Government to decide implementation of new health warnings on cigarette packets and alcohol bottles, mate, I had found my calling.

Verse 05

Couple of weeks later I am installed in the city's chief political lobbying firm. Clients, the five main global tobacco producers. Paying good money to stop the public knowing a certain truth. I swear to God, I held up that process, I slowed down the legislation and the change. I made millions of people smoke and drink more, happily unaware that with every sweet inhalation and refreshing sip it took them a step closer to their oblivion. Finally, I hated with direction. On your knees.

And all the while listening to my music.

Wouldn’t say I was happy, but yes, I did smile from time to time

Final Chorus

But you can't hold the tide back forever. And when they told me in the office it was over with that pathetic sick pitying look in their eye my vengeance was quick and ferocious, and I guess thats why I find myself here. But it's not about religion. Maybe you´ll laugh.

Bridge and Outro

And Eamonn was taken to Dollymount. where he continues to hate and disrupt. It wasn't long after his permanent installation that he was moved to solitary confinement. They closed the door and he closed his eyes. And finally he is at peace, because there were no humans to be encountered in his confinement.

And all the while he was listening to his music.

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For V.

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Copyright Notice

Publisher Notice Published by La Fuente de Jade (Spain). © All rights reserved. This work is protected under applicable copyright and intellectual property laws.